When too much is...

way too friggin' much. Ugh.
Last night was Lisa's birthday party. The drinkage ensued, but today I'm completely paying for it. I'm so damn wounded I skipped going to the Mad Pub today to do Sunday football with the gals. I still sort of have a headache, so that's probably for the best. LOL.
Damn.
Sometimes just because they sell beers in 12 packs it doesn't mean you have to drink almost 3/4 of it. Jeez ile!

It just occurred to me that

...I'm sitting here in my apartment with hours and hours of entertainment in video and audio, but the only thing I want to listen to right now is...
SILENCE.

Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi

I had a very strange day today. It's still at the point where I don't even know what to think or what to do. I woke up and decided that I should probably call in to work. Why? I'm sniffling... no big deal. That's like every day since I've moved here. Something told me it would probably be better if I just stayed under the covers. Boy was I right.
I left at 8:30 to go to work (early), and I ended up getting there at 9:20. It usually takes me 20 minutes to get there. Today I couldn't seem to get on the damn West Seattle Bridge. I tried three different options and none of them was moving. At one point in time there was even a woman in a car ahead of me reading a book. Ugh. I had to end up driving all the way down to South Park just to jump on 99. I mean what the hell people!?
When I got to work I just did things as usual. Nothing went wrong at work, but there was that sense of annoyance that just stayed with me throughout the day. I don't understand why I'm one of those people that lets stupid things get to them. Why am I the woman who gets all pissy over the stupidest things? One of my coworkers even said, "Wow seems like somebody woke up on the pissy side of the bed this morning." My response was, "No I just drove on the pissy side of the street." That got me a consensus of cubicle laughs, so oh well.
But here I sit at 2219 still off-balance by what I'm guessing was this morning's commute. Something is definitely off in Ile-Land, USA.
Sigh... suggestions... comments?

Too small :(

SIGH. So I'm still looking for a place to live. I knew I jinxed myself. Grrr!
The area is beautiful with beach access. The 80 year old couple were two of the nicest people I've met in a long time. I really wanted to rent from them, and it seemed like they really wanted me to rent from them as well.
I guess I just have too much stuff. Honestly I don't have as much crap as I used to, but it was just one small room the size of my bedroom, about 4 feet of a kitchen, a shower and a toilet. For someone just starting out without much I would totally recommend this place! There were no additional utilities, wireless and cable were included and they didn't mind if you use the laundry room.
Damn. It's just so damn frustrating. GRRRR!
:(

Looking for a new domicile

Well it's official. I've given my notice to my apartment complex, The Robbery Inn. I'm moving out at the end of October. Me and Rikki Blue Eyes are looking for a new place to call home. This is one of those situations that can change your life for better or worse.
Tomorrow morning I'm going to check out a place right off Fauntleroy Way. I drove by it today and... wow. The couple who owns the home has a studio (?) or basement apartment. They're older people, and I could honestly deal with renting a place underneath some old peeps. The woman sounds amazingly sweet, but we'll see. I'll tell you whose parents I wish I could rent from... Rob's parents. They're the coolest mom and pops I've ever met. Well, besides my own of course. :)
The way this place looks is that it actually sits on a private lane (expensive houses) right next to the shoreline. Actually I think it's right on the shore. That would freakin' rock!
Ok I'll back off and not get my hopes up. I'm just concerned about the size of it. What if it's way too small? Have I already built myself up for a disappointment?
Ugh! Well I'll let you all know how it goes. If everything looks fine I'll give them a check tomorrow for a deposit. If not... the search continues.
For now, here's a wonderful picture I took earlier this summer of Mt. Rainer while on the Vashon Ferry. Enjoy.

What a way to make a living...

Well it's Friday. Thank god. Whoever first uttered the saying "Thank God It's Friday" should be immortalized in a marble statue.
It has been a long week, and I can't even pinpoint as to why.
Oh by the way yes I'm posting at almost 5 am. Ever since I can remember I always wake up at about 4 am. No reason. Not to use the bathroom. I just wake up. Ready to start my day. It really sucks because I don't start work for another five hours, but when I end up going back to sleep I wake up completely groggy and in a bit of a foul mood.
Years ago I had a sleep study done on me to find out what the hell was wrong. After extensive testing you know what they told me? Wait for it... wait for it... Intermittent Sleep Disorder. Well no shit, Sherlock! I told you that when I walked in the door. I recommend you get a refund on your med school degree because any observant dumbass could have ding-ding-dinged that one!
Anyway back to my original topic... it's Friday. Thank God. Ok back to sleep, dumplings. Have a great weekend.


Special thanks to A Wilhelm Scream for a few degrees of hearing loss, and this appropriately titled song.
(New video by the way. Great work)

5 to 9

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Freakin' Sweet

You know you have a strange job when you're actually fact checking the spelling of "Giggity, giggity."
Gotta' love it!

I love you to death (wait for it... wait for it...) BUT...

Have you ever thought about the things that you absolutely can't tell the rest of the world? You know... strange desires, an attraction towards trees, enjoying the smell of exhaust, the inability to buy things outside of a pair... whatever your little secrets are it seems like they dig a hole deep into your heart and never get out.
Sometimes I wish I could just scream, "I ... whatever!"
Today at work I got so frustrated for a moment that I had to literally exit the building and let my frustration out. I just let myself cry. I wasn't sad I was just fed up. Everyone in my department was on edge for some reason. Who knows what we all are dealing with in our separate lives, but all together it wasn't a good mix.
Yes sometimes I wish I could just scream whatever is on my mind. Sometimes I wish I could just walk up to a woman and tell her, "Excuse me I just felt the need to tell you that you're mysteriously attractive." Sometimes I wish I could tell someone that is frustrating me to "back the hell off." Sometimes I wish I could do countless numbers of unnamed acts.
For ile, she cannot. I cannot.
I am focusing on making my life more positive. I haven't had a smoke since the 11th and I don't want one now. I think that's a good thing. Although I've been feeling ill since Monday I still have the desire to go out and experience the world. Something tells me that I need to chill, drug myself up and crash. The exhaustion is becoming ridiculous so I'm going to do this one thing: Friends, just give me some time to chill, sleep off whatever the hell is making me sick and I will join you in the real world soon.
Much love... the ile.

And the beat goes on...

Well I turned down the Phoenix job today based on a couple of factors. The first was I would have to take a HUGE pay drop to move up two markets. That right there is just plain wrong plus for the love of God I've been in television close to 10 years! Low-balling not appreciated or tolerated. I'm not about to make a stupid decision. The second is... it's Phoenix. It's HOTTER than hell! I grew up in the Southwest, but Phoenix is a tough one. Still we'll see what the outcome is, but right now I'm ok staying here in Seattle.
I actually do enjoy my life here in Seattle. I figured I should point out the positive points and negative points. I will limit myself to five of each, so that I can do some thinking about what really is impacting my decision to continue looking.

PHOENIX,AZ


Reasons to stay/leave in Seattle:

POSITIVE

1. Awesome friends
2. Water access
3. Stable career
4. Entertainment venues
5. An opportunity to change


NEGATIVE

1. So far from family
2. No chance of finding an affordable domicile
3. Unchanging work situations
4. Damned rain!
5. Dating scene is fickle (always a friend, never a girlfriend)

SEATTLE,WA



So I decided today would be the beginning of a change. Today was also a day changed the world for generations to come. I quit smoking today, and seriously this is it. I'm grossing out with myself when I smoke. I changed brands practically every time that I bought a pack. So many different things pointed towards this. Health factors are at the top. There's also another change I'm initiating: I'm changing my body image.
Those of you that have known me since I was a kid knows that I was a stick UNTIL I hit puberty. After that I grew the ladies and bulked up. I have always been active, so has been very frustrating when I work out and get no or little results.
Well about a month ago we found out I have a thyroid condition that basically comes down to this: I have almost no metabolism. Since I've been on medication my energy level has gone way up, and I've actually shed a little bit of fat. Not enough to say, "WOW." But enough that I've realized my shorts aren't violently pushing against my body. So I'm going to do it little by little.
So it's time for change! Change eating habits. Change drinking habits. Change activity habits. Eventually I hope to be in a much better position a year from now.

YouTube

Here's my YouTube Channel.

The Redemption Picture

Ok Lisa deserved a redemption photo. I had to do well with this one and she said it was "Ok," so I think we're good now. This is an adorable picture with Lisa and Sara.
We started out the day at The Madison Pub up on the hill watching the Hawks beat down the Bucs. We then moved back over to West Seattle to catch my boys, the Giants, play the damn Cowboys. Needless to say the game isn't going so well. :( Oh well. Tons of fun with good friends, good brew and everything in between.

Karaoke at Yen Wor

So Jamie invited me out for Karaoke tonight. We hit the Yen Wor aka Yen Whore in West Seattle to get our sing on. First it was just me and Rob. I joke with him all the time that his name in Japanese is Lob Lirey. Well the bartender, Wendy, came over and talked to us. She asked Rob's name and he told her Robert. She repeated, "Lobelt." I about died laughing. Well, he about lost it too, so it was actually a great way to begin the evening.
As for the night we had a freakin blast, but I have to say when the freaky, smelly, paint covered guy comes over to your table it is probably best to tell him "fuck off" right away. Jamie did a kick ass Britney song (don't knock Britney!), and I did a little Moby with Gwen.
Ok and since when did I have a "wandering eye" like it appears in this picture? Is it just because I have almond shaped eyes that get really squinty when I get a little booze in me? God I hope that's the case. LOL.
Lisa is going to kill me for posting this picture. She hated it when I took it. Sorry Lisa. We all know you're gorgeous!
Becky, Marilyn and Sam joined us too but I didn't get to grab a pic with those gals. It was indeed a night full of fun and frizeaks! :)

Shopping

Today I was looking for a couple new blouses of the dressier variety. I have a pet peeve that I have to express. Ok I may be a bigger(aka fat) chick, but that doesn't mean I'm doomed to a fashion faux pas life. Seriously, if you think that a big chick wants to wear a damn buckle in the middle of her chest you're dead wrong. Oh and patterns... for the love of god do you really think we want to resemble a bloated zebra? I'm not dressing up to be an eighties version of your couch. Damn. Stop with the animal prints! If I went out in a tiger print I'd probably get hit with a dart from animal control.
So drop the damn buckles and bows in the middle of the boobs, and leave the animal prints to those that wear them best: the animals. Damn fashion designers need to pull their heads out of their asses and make bigger clothes like they make smaller clothes.
Ok I'm a fat fuck, I accept that but I'll be damned if I draw attention to it. Ugh.

Fire! Fire!

Tonight we realized I really do have some strange affinity for fire. Ironic because my father was a fire fighter. I was a friend of Smokey the Bear, and I learned early that Smokey's friends don't play with matches. Why is it that I lit the table on fire in chemistry class, can set a campfire with the best of them and I'm typically the one everyone calls to get the charcoal going? Maybe to know fire you have to become fire. Realizing the things that make up fire. Fire can create its own weather. Fire can cancel itself out if done correctly. The respect one must have for fire, and the fact that there is a thin line in creating or destroying with a flame as well.
Hmm. As a water sign I realize that I may easily be cancelled out with fire. I can be transformed from a liquid into steam in mere seconds.
Fire, yes fire. Looks like the cavemen had it right all along. Spark, flame, fire and end it all off with one hell of a dance around the pit.
Dance on cavemen. Tonight I salute you with a full stomach from a wonderfully barbequed steak. Dance on flamers! Dance on!



A fire can also manifest remarkable images. Here's a picture I took when we were around the campfire out at Tiger Lake.

Really Cool

By the way please go to jonessoda.com and read the legit explanation of this benefit. I think it's awesome. :)

Victory Is Mine!

After a holiday weekend of working many hours I actually got my spots approved. It was great to actually create again. It sucks to do a job I wasn't hired to do. It becomes very frustrating when I have all sorts of creative ideas in my little head that continue to die a silent death. Sometimes I ask why I do this. Sometimes I wonder if I wouldn't be better off doing other things like teaching, becoming a forest ranger or even working at a department store.
I'm a team player but it's just ironic how those who expect you to be a team player are often those who go solo. Very strange indeed. The human mind is a unique object. The degrees in which emotion can take you are extreme. If you let anger take over it will kill you quickly. If you let laziness take over it might kill you just as quickly as anger. The middle ground is actually a very small area. Have I walked upon it, or am I one of those people who just can't seem to color inside the lines?
My thoughts are totally all over the place, so I apologize for being flighty. Maybe this is the best time to crawl in bed, pull the covers over my head and go to sleep. Hmm.
Maybe.

Both ends?

I arrived at work yesterday shortly after 9 am. I left... after 11 pm. Take my previous post and multiply it by ten .

I'm off to treat myself to a waffle. Have a good day.